Knowing My Baby Was Dead
OAP Toolz says going through labour pains knowing her baby was dead broke her.
In an interview with Genevieve Magazine, Toolz shared her miscarriage experience for the first time since it happened in 2017.
“From the point we found out something was wrong till when the process was over was quite harrowing, but the parts that really broke me were going through the pain of labour knowing my baby was already gone,” the 35-year-old said.
“I also had a mini-break down when I had to get a death certificate so we could have a burial. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much in my life.”
A situation where the foetus dies in the womb before it is born is called intra-uterine fetal death. In most cases, it occurs in the third trimester and the mother would have to go through labour to deliver it.
Toolz said she was bedridden in the hospital for a while. Explaining that she was, “shaken, broken, rebuilt,” Toolz said it “ultimately it strengthened my relationship with God.”
“It made me realise how delicate life is, and as much as we say ‘I will do this or that’ it is inevitably down to God’s will. “In December I wrote that everyone will go through trying times, you just have to pray for the strength to get through it.
That’s what God gave me – strength to get through a very horrible experience.”
Describing her husband, Tunde Demuren, as an incredible source of support.
“I actually went into labour whilst I was making his breakfast.
I tried to finish because he is such a big foodie, but the pain was too much and I was bundled off in the ambulance. Maybe it was the gas and air or temporary insanity, but I remember asking the medics to stop so we could get some food for him.
They thought I was mad. We can laugh about that now. I think this experience brought us closer, and also made us realise how much we love each other. He made me pray, and he didn’t give up till I had emptied my heart out.”
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